(sorry for duplicates) I'm sending this a little earlier than usual, but just in case you want to forward it to friends (why should I be the only one who has to listen to the groans?)... Here it is, that holiday classic of (Groucho) Marxist mayhem, S.J. Perelman's "Waiting for Santy": http://www.geocities.com/nysaproject/santy.htm